Friday, June 30, 2006

Doctor, Doctor

Won't you please prescribe me something? A day in the life of someone else...

This has been the longest two weeks of my life. I'm not even entirely sure where to begin explaining recent events. Lets start with the most current. Kiddos and I are safely settled at my parents house (in Raleigh). Not to say that we weren't safe at home. I just needed to get out of there, and this was the soonest I could do it. We're hanging out here for a few days, finalizing some plans for the future. Which includes a move to Raleigh within about a month. With the baby due so soon, and minimal support in VA (love ya Mal, but you work too much!) I feel that I really need to be where I have help. I have been packing up the house, deciding which things come, what needs to be tossed, and what is going to be sold at our mega yard sale on the 15th of July. Even though it's "stuff" it's still hard..these are things we purchased with the intent (at least on my part) of lasting years. It just brings home again the fact that this event hit me out of no where. Certain parties may claim to have been thinking about this for about a year now, but I was totally left in the dark.

More in depth plans include going back to school. I have not been fortunate enough to continue my college education in the past few years, so it's nice to have that opportunity again, regardless of how it came about. We'll be living with my parents (me and the soon to be 3 kiddos all squished in one room) for a while, till I can get some money saved (we don't have a savings account to speak of, and it rather scares me not to have any money for rainy days) and get life somewhat settled again. Exactly how long this will take, I have no clue. My parents have graciously offered me at least a year though, so no worries about making decisions too soon. Ever have one of those dreams where you're falling, and you made desperate grabs for something to hold onto? I kinda feel like that now. I'm so grateful that my family (both my parents and his) have been so incredibly supportive. It really helps to know you have people on your "side" in a situation like this. Speaking of which, big thanks to all you kind ladies who left comments on my last post. It really meant a lot to me, so big cyber hugs to all :)

All in all, the kids and I are doing well. I've been trying to keep most of this away from them, since I don't want to upset them. Plus they're so young, they wouldn't understand most of it anyway. Or at least I think. They do know that Daddy doesn't live with us anymore, and that we're moving into Gma's house soon. I've stressed to them that Daddy still loves them, so they won't worry about that. I just hope it works, and they don't get too traumatized by this. While I know divorce happens, it's something I never wanted or expected for my children to have to go through. So I'm doing the best I can, and I hope it works. Baby Jack is well also, although due to the incredible amounts of stress I've been under lately, I have lost an additional 8 lbs. Add that to the roughly 7.5 I lost at my last months visit, and the 10 I lost initially. I've only ever gained 7lbs with this pregnancy, and that was lost right away. I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow, and I'm 18.5 lbs thinner then I was before preggo! Ironic. But as long as the baby is healthy (which I did a walk in appt yesterday to double check) then I'm happy. I'm looking for a place to get a 3D ultrasound done here, just for my amusement :) I'll post a picture of my lil sweetie, although it may be on a new password protected blog. Certain parties are known to read my blog, and I'm not entirely comfortable with them reading my private thoughts anymore. C'est la vie.

6 Comments:

Blogger Lynlee said...

A year? Woulda been nice if he'd have told you before he got you pregnant again (not to say that you aren't glad to have the little one). I'll assume for the time being that he's going to be paying major child support so that I don't have to totally hate him (but mostly I do, FYI.).

I'm glad you and the kiddos are safe and sound. Your parents totally rock for letting you stay. Hooray for you for going back to school! It'll be hard, but I have confidence that you will succeed.

Love you tons, Megan. You and the kids are in my thoughts daily. I wish I were there to help. I know that being a single mama can be hard - but I'm telling you now, it is THE SINGLE MOST REWARDING THING I HAVE EVER DONE. No joke. You learn to rely on yourself and only yourself real quick-like. Not too many people I've met can say that. It's, well, empowering. Once you get the hang of it. I'm here if you ever need to talk or vent or cry or say mean things about certain someones that you don't want held against you or brought up in court. lol Hey, ya gotta do that sometimes. Kisses, hon. Hugs for the kiddos.

3:48 PM

 
Blogger Deneen said...

Megan, I am so sorry for about the turn your life has recently made, but thank goodness you have your parents and those 2 3/4 kiddos to get you through, and they will.

Concentrate on yourself and them and to heck with all the rest-easier said than done, I know, but you WILL get through this and things WILL get easier, just takes a little time.

And yes, it would have been freaking nice for him to have kinda let you know a year ago instead of now-very cowardly and selfish on his part and he should be ashamed of himself-I do think men just don't "get it" and never will.

Hugs to you and try, try hard, to take care of yourself for little Jack's sake.

4:58 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*HUGS*

Im here if you need me. You know how to reach me!!

Its baby Jack now? Thats so much better than Sam ;-) jk. Im sorry youre going through all of this. I really wish there was something I could do to make it all go away.

Good luck, Im sure you will do great and your kids (as well as yourself) will grow and learn from all of this adversity. There are bigger and much better fish out there for you beautiful girl!

8:15 AM

 
Blogger Pink said...

I know it's tough but you will get through this and you'll come out good and strong on the other side. You sound so positive, keep it up. Best wishes to you and the little ones.

12:13 PM

 
Blogger Marvie said...

Oh man, Megan this is some shitty deal! I hope your move goes smoothly, living with the parents will go a LONG way towards helping you get back on your feet. If you ever need to blow off some steam, I'll listen (I think you have my email?)

{{{HUGS}}} keeping you and the wee ones in my thoughts hun!

6:27 AM

 
Blogger hookd1989 said...

I wish you and the little ones the best. It will be hard at first, but once you re-establish yourself everything will fall into place. Take good care of yourself!

5:37 PM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home